Alcoholic Definition C

Growing up with what was considered a “functional” alcoholic father, it must sound strange when I say that I never experienced alcoholism. From all appearances on the outside, my father was hard working, attentive, active in his hobbies, and just an all around sweet person. I never knew it was out of the ordinary to drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine each night because he never exuded any kind of abnormal behavior.

When I was 20, my father passed away from cancer. They never did find out what kind of cancer he had, as he had tumors on his liver, but it was not liver cancer. In the years since, I have formed my own definition of what an alcoholic is. It isn’t about how obnoxious you get, how much you embarrass yourself, the dangerous situations you may put yourself in, etc. While those are all horrible things alcohol can do to your life, they are the symptom of something else. The byproduct of how you are trying to cope with it. In the years since, with my own relationship with alcohol, I’ve realized it’s completely about escape. But not by any means as dramatic as the word “escape” usually makes people think. Both my Dad and I were/are pretty shy, introverted types. Sometimes I suspect our escape is just from the little things in everyday life that more outgoing people find easier or even enjoyable. Like chatting with a stranger who seems friendly enough, or saying hi to a neighbor that was outside when you went to grab the mail. For people like my father and me however, sometimes just stepping outside of your own front door is stressful. While we appear to suck it up and act like normal, friendly human beings within society, we are screaming on the inside wanting to hide. I think, after a while we, we both resigned ourselves to the fact that we are the ones with the problem. There’s no reason for us to be shy, there’s no reason for us to be anti-social. People are nice and not going to hurt us. But how soon do you have to organically and productively figure that one out when so many aspects of it aren’t even conscious until, from my experience, you’re 30s. In my 20s I don’t even know if I had the introspection sophisticated enough to even be aware of this. How often do you get the chance to get to these sorts of silent, inner issues before you find yourself dragged to a crowded party… and notice how tolerable it is once you grab a drink?

Alcoholic Definition

Raging Alcoholic