How To Help An Addict

Understanding addiction is important to success. I cannot overstate this.

Generals study their enemies to look for weaknesses but, they also study their own army to know its strengths and weaknesses. They work to strengthen the areas they know they are weak in. Then they use their strengths to attack the enemy in his weak spot.  This is also true with addiction. You strengthen your weak spots as best as you can and you plan for problems in areas you know you are weak in.

Family Members Can Help

Understanding addiction helps families understand what their loved one is going through.  It can help the family see potential triggers and look for signs of distress that might lead to a relapse. If you love an addict, this information can be very useful. It can help you to help them.

The family (especially spouses) can be a big help in looking for potential pitfalls. Just remember, a family cannot “fix” addiction for their loved one. They can only help.


Knowing what you are up against will make overcoming addiction easier. It will help you to understand why the addicted person behaves the way they do. It will help you learn to see potential triggers that they might have missed. It will help the family see signs of distress the addict may not have thought about. It will help the family provide constructive feedback if the addict wanders into a dangerous area.

Just remember, you can help but you cannot fix an addiction for someone else.

Understanding addiction will let you know if someone is trying or if they are just stringing you along. It will help you decide if you should leave.

What about Rehab?

Rehab has problems. Don’t believe me? Believe the professionals below.

You Have A Better Chance of Ending Your Addiction If You Are Never Exposed To Treatment Programs or 12-Step Programs.


“There’s no such thing as an evidence-based rehab,” he says. “That’s because no matter what you do, the whole concept of rehab is flawed and unsupported by evidence.” [says] Dr. Mark Willenbring, former director of treatment and recovery research at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism


Overcoming a drinking or addiction problem means overcoming a host of physical and psychological responses. If you live where drugs are used then you have to overcome your living space too.

You can learn to overcome by trial and error (like I did) or you can do it the easier, quicker way. I recommend the easy, quick way. gFFET


You can too.

How about some more professional opinions.

What this means is that the path to recovery that most people think is most common—attending 12-step meetings either with or without some additional treatment, completely abstaining from all psychoactive substances that aren’t prescribed—is actually the unusual one. Between two-thirds and three-quarters of people who recover don’t receive any type of treatment, and only about 40% abstain entirely, at least with the legal drug alcohol.
The Fix


You Do Not have to suffer anymore.
I was a binge drinker who progressed into an every day “drink till you pass out” drunk. I was a mess. I didn’t think I would ever be able to give up alcohol. The things taught in the program worked for me.

Except the program was not available then, I did not find it until after I was sober for a few years. Anyway, I had to learn it all the hard way. You don’t have to suffer through all of that. You can be successful right away, instead of failing time and time again. If you want to stop drinking, watch the video and buy the program ($40 with Money Back Guarantee). The program will teach you everything you need to know.

The Daily Beast
writes that the addiction industry generates $35 billion a
year in revenue. The industry claims very high success rates but most credible (third party) sources claim the industry has less than a 5% success rate.

Read what MarketWatch says:

Many [rehab programs] quote success rates of 70% or higher. But those claims depend on how “success” is defined. In some cases, the figure may only refer to the completion rate – that is, the percentage of people who finish the program. MarketWatch

What type of education does a rehab counselor need?

only one state required providers of addiction treatment to have a master’s degree; by contrast, 14 states did not require any licensing or certification for such counselors and 14 states required only a high school diploma or GED to obtain the proper credentials.

There are “no clearly delineated, consistent and regulated national standards” in the industry, said a report summary MarketWatch

So your bartender may know more about getting sober than those who work in the rehab facility. (seriously, he might)

Don’t let these clowns fail you and your family. Don’t spend your children’s college fund or inheritance on their “pie-in-the-sky” claims. (there are a few exceptions when you want inpatient rehab as the first option but they are rare. Read my blog.)

YOU DO NOT NEED 30 days or $30,000 for rehab.

(or drugging, gambling, watching porn, etc.).

It will help you learn some things about your physical and emotional responses. You’ll learn about your limbic system and your pre-frontal cortex. You will learn about neuroplasticity and feedback loops. Don’t worry, it isn’t hard. It only sounds complicated. It is much less painful than going through life dealing with one hangover after another. It is easier than losing your family or your job. It’s just plain easier being in control of yourself than it is being alcohol’s bitch. (or any addiction’s bitch, this works for all addictions)

Anyway, its time to get back to some information you can use right now. Since this blog is about destructive drinking, I will focus on booze. But any addiction can be attacked using these and other tactics taught in the course. (Just buy it, it has a money back guarantee. I know it works.)

Tactics To Help You Stop Drinking

You’ll need to know what to expect from your body and mind and you’ll need to have some idea of how to take on these problems. Every alcoholic who really wants to stop drinking will need to know the general things below.

Find alternatives

Find new things to do. If you just sit around you will likely start drinking again. Drinking takes up a lot of time, you need something to fill it with. So find yourself yourself a new hobby. One that you value, one that is important enough that you want to stay sober to see it completed.

Avoid “triggers”
What triggers your urge to drink? If you have certain “drinking songs” don’t listen to them for awhile. If you drink when you golf or bowl, you may need to stay away from it too. If you have certain friends that you drink with you should stay away from them for awhile. Or you can learn how to say “no”. (below)

What about when you can’t? If you are on a bowling team you probably should try it and see what happens. If you normally drink when visiting your in-laws you can’t really get rid of the in-laws. So don’t see them for awhile and learn tactics from the course to deal with a host of other triggers.

You will not need to hide forever, if that were true the program would be useless.

Plan to handle urges
Remind yourself why you are not drinking. The hobby you picked should be important enough that you will want to stay sober to at least finish it. Some people exercise, but that never worked for me. Do take your mind off of the urge or remove yourself from the situation that brought it on.

This too is temporary, everyday you will get stronger and that urge will be less and less.

Know your “no”
Have a “no thanks” prepared before you are offered a drink. I used to tell people “no I have to work early, and you know how I am once I get started”. That was enough to shut everyone up.

You are going to need to deal with stressors at the ground level. These things are immediate and deeply personal. You need a plan. Don’t worry, you’ll learn how to prepare yourself for for the problems you’ll face when giving up alcohol with the course.

How Can Family Help A Loved One Stop Drinking

Get the stop drinking program so you know what is going on and so you can be ready when they are. AND.

  1. Learn All You Can About Alcoholism and Drug Dependence

Learn about withdrawal, triggers, how to handle cravings, and a host of other issues. (the program does this)

  1. Speak Up and Offer Your Support

Talk to the person about your concerns, and offer your help and support, including your willingness to be with them and or to leave them alone if they don’t like to be babied.

  1. Express Love and Concern

Don’t wait for your loved one to “hit bottom”. You may be met with excuses, denial or anger, but be prepared to respond with specific examples of behavior that has you worried.

  1. Don’t Expect the Person to Stay Stop Without Being Prepared

They are going to be changing their life. The person needs to be prepared. They need both a specific and general skill set to help them. That is where the course comes in. To be honest, if the course is not enough, get some more help. But why waste 10’s of thousands of dollars on rehab if you don’t need to. Can you really take 30 days or more off from earning a living if you don’t have to. Even if you can, do you want to?

A Few Things You Want To Avoid:

  • Don’t Preach: Don’t lecture, threaten, bribe, preach or moralize.
  • Don’t Be A Martyr: Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to drink or use other drugs.
  • Don’t Cover Up, lie or make excuses for them and their behavior.
  • Don’t Assume Their Responsibilities: Taking over their responsibilities protects them from the consequences of their behavior.
  • Don’t Argue When Using: Arguing with the person when they are using alcohol or drugs, at that point they can’t have a rational conversation.
  • Don’t Feel Guilty or responsible for their behavior, it’s not your fault.
  • Don’t Join Them: Don’t try to keep up with them by drinking or using.

Those are guidelines from NCADD but you know your loved one better than they do. Notice what helps and what doesn’t. Then do that.



If the person wants to be told how proud you are of the them, do so (if you are proud of them). If they hate that stuff, then don’t tell them how wonderful they are. Pretty simple.

Here is another thing for helpers to know. It is nice if you try to help at first but it shouldn’t be permanent (at least for most of the stuff). You want your life to go back to normal, not to become an existence where you are watching to make sure you don’t do anything to set your loved one off. You are a helper, you are very important, but you are not the solution.

If You Choose to Stop Drinking. What Will You Do?
(that’s right, drinking or not drinking is your choice)

Think of all the things you can do with the energy and clear head you will have.

You will have more quality time with family.

I went back to college and got a second degree. I could not have done that if I were still drinking.

You might turn your hobby into a career. Have the energy to earn a promotion or change jobs or start your own business.

How about your family? Will your wife be happy? Will your children be happy? If things are already broken will you be able to reconcile?

If you don’t have work or a family, you will be stable enough to get them if you want.

Will your buddies hate you because you quit drinking and they can’t.

My buddies (and their wives) didn’t know what to do, I had always been such a messy drunk, then I wasn’t. They had no one to point to and say “he’s the one with the problem” anymore. They couldn’t claim that they simply could not quit drinking, because I had stopped and my problem was much worse than theirs. It shook things up. Some people got angry.

(By the way, some of them have quit drinking now and they did it by understanding neuroplasticity, nutrition, feedback loops, etc. All the stuff on the Video)


How do you see yourself without

alcohol abuse muddying up the

waters?What things will you do with

your time? Will you build a better

future for yourself and your family.


After They Quit Drinking and Are Stabilized

Most people already have a good idea what problems made them abuse alcohol with such abandon that they were forced to stop drinking. They may choose to deal with that problem at some level. That don’t always have to make peace with it immediately but most people try to beat it back and lock it in a cage.

Anyway, two of the most common causes I know of are: something bad happened and it should not have happened and something good should have happened and it did not happen.

Here are two examples:

· Dad sexually molests daughter. Should not have happened. She can’t trust men, is lonely, always dates terrible men, etc. She uses alcohol to fill the hole.

· Parents did not love son. Should have happened. Son drinks to compensate for lack of love. Doesn’t believe anyone can love him, can’t form connections, is lonely, etc. He uses alcohol to fill the hole.

(of course there are more; rape, death of child or spouse, captured by the enemy, etc.)

Think about depression, PTSD, anxiety, or any other problem that alcohol can mask. There are as many reasons for people to drink as there are people, but they really do boil down to about the two root causes above. Something horrible happened , or something good that should of happened did not happen.

Things spiral out of control when fueled by alcohol over long periods of time. Alcohol becomes your coping mechanism. Unfortunately, when used inappropriately alcohol creates its own problems. Now you have two things to deal with. The original problem and the new problems the drinking has created. (think feedback loops/neuroplasticity from the video)

Helping an alcoholic is about getting them sober and keeping them sober. After that, when they are stronger, you figure out what created the need for alcohol. That might bring peace, or at least some sort of reconciliation within the person. But do remember, some people do not look backwards, they go forwards. They don’t worry about what cannot be changed and work on the future, which can be changed. I wasn’t tough enough to take that path.

Benefits of Quitting Drinking (not all will apply)

  • Prevent or reduce health problems that are made worse by alcohol use, such as liver damage.
  • Prevent harm to your unborn baby if you are pregnant.
  • Reduce related family concerns or relationship problems.
  • Increase your ability to be productive at work, school, and home.
  • Reduce legal problems that you might have as a result of misuse of alcohol.
    Stopping alcohol use can:
  • Prevent or reduce health problems that are made worse by alcohol use, such as liver damage.
  • Prevent harm to your unborn baby if you are pregnant.
  • Reduce related family concerns or relationship problems.
  • Increase your ability to be productive at work, school, and home.
  • Reduce legal problems that you might have as a result of misuse of alcohol.

Stop Drinking Video

How I Finally Quit Drinking

I had know of my alcohol problem for at least 20 years. I had tried to stop drinking several times only to find myself on my couch twitching and shaking from withdrawal. To quit drinking I had to put most of the things in the course into practice. Except the course did not exist. So I had to stop drinking several times before I got everything worked out.

I also prayed. At the time I knew of God but I had no relationship with him. I did, however, know this little bit of scripture.

Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:10 (King James Bible)

So I prayed. Faith in God, however, is not part of the program.

I also didn’t go out with friends who would be drinking. I stayed out of the beer aisle at the grocery store. I didn’t listen to certain music on the radio. Music was a big one for me because I am a Jimmy Buffet fan. I like Hank Jr and Kid Rock. These guys sing songs about partying. So music had to go for awhile.

I did not watch any movies or television shows that glamorized drinking. I got all the alcohol out of my house.

By the way, I do whatever I want now. This was just at the beginning. I dealt with the problem and now I do what I want. And so can you.

If you have an alcoholic that you love, even if they are not ready to stop drinking, this program can help you understand what is going on with them. It has a cash back guarantee and is less than a meal at a decent restaurant. Help Yourself.

Stop Drinking Video